1. Whine
2. When asked if something is bothering you, you reply no.
Then get mad when you are bel...（查看全文）
A young ventriloquist is touring the Southwest and stops to entertain in an Arkansas bar. He's going...（查看全文）
He tells you that his last good case was a Budweiser.
When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, ...（查看全文）
A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't w...（查看全文）
Doctor : I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient : Well, might as well give...（查看全文）
1. There is no such thing as childproofing your home
2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and...（查看全文）
A mother bought her son a $100 Halloween costume to scare his friends. "Should I take the price tag off?" the boy asked.
"Leave it on." his mother replied. "We'll scare your father too."
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Why can't blondes take coffee breaks?
They're too hard to retrain.
How do you know when a blonde h...（查看全文）
Q:HowmanyDemocratsdoesittaketochangealightbulb?
A:None."Wellit'snotreallyaquestionofshouldwechangeit...（查看全文）
Patient : I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor : You've had an accident involving...（查看全文）
As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on ...（查看全文）
The young newly-weds quarreled. At last she could bear it no longer and burst into tears.
"I don't w...（查看全文）
Only In America... can pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only In America...are the...（查看全文）
Teacher: "Spell 'WATER',"
Girl : "HIJKLMNO."
Teacher: "That doesn't spell 'WATER',"
Girl : "Yes, it does it's all the letters from 'H to O'."
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Sunday School teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? Hands up...what about you, Terry? You haven't got your hand up, don't you want to go to Heaven?
Terry: I can't. My mum told me to go straight home.（查看全文）
For a couple of years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but n...（查看全文）
That swimsuit really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping
my husband company while I go for ...（查看全文）
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use ...（查看全文）
Dad : "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and
say sorry to her"
Son : (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are
stupid.
（查看全文）
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoe in different colors.
8. Why...（查看全文）
"U.S. Government Philosophy: If It Ain't Broke, Fix It 'Til It Is"
Beauty is in the eye of the bee...（查看全文）
- Redneck Driving Etiquette -
Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is load...（查看全文）
The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone...（查看全文）
Theyhavefinallybeenreleased!ForthosenotfamiliarwiththeDarwinAward,It'sanannualhonorgiventotheperson...（查看全文）
old, I told her to act her own age, and she died.
poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the stre...（查看全文）
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused ...（查看全文）
it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
she got a peep hole in a glass door.
you asked what's for d...（查看全文）
A lady rushes into the veterinarian and screams, "I found my dog unconscious and I can't...（查看全文）
A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He sa...（查看全文）
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra....（查看全文）
笑话大全
