Men & Women: The Difference
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MAGAZINES:
Men'smagazinesoftenfeaturepicturesofnakedwomen.Women'smagazinesalsofeaturepicturesofnakedwomen.Thisisbecausethefemalebodyisabeautifulworkofart,whilethemalebodyislumpyandhairyandshouldn'tbeseenbythelightofday.Menareturnedonatthesightofanakedwoman'sbody.Mostnakedmenelicitlaughterfromwomen.
CATS:
Womenlovecats.Mensaytheylovecats,butwhenwomenaren'tlooking,menkickcats.
OFFSPRING:
Ah,children.Awomanknowsallaboutherchildren.Sheknowsaboutdentistappointmentsandsoccergamesandromancesandbestfriendsandfavoritefoodsandsecretfearsandhopesanddreams.Amanisvaguelyawareofsomeshortpeoplelivinginthehouse.
JEWELRY:
Womenlooknicewhentheywearjewelry.Amancangetawaywithwearingoneringandthat'sit.AnymorethanthatandhewilllooklikealoungesingernamedRamone.
RESTROOMS:
Menuserestroomsforpurelybiologicalreasons.Womenuserestroomsassociallounges.Meninarestroomwillneverspeakawordtoeachother.Womenwho'venevermetwillleavearestroomgigglingtogetherlikeoldfriends.Andneverinthehistoryoftheworldhasamanexcusedhimselffromarestauranttablebysaying,'Hey,Tom,Iwasjustabouttotakealeak.Doyouwanttojoinme?'
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